Wow, you know something. I was just sitting here thinking about how I got my big fat mouth nailed shut by Uppity yesterday. It’s a long story, but the bottom line is that I went off on somebody whom dear Miz Uppity happens to like a lot. And shall I be so bold as to add that this particular individual is a politician, a woman, and is in the current cabinet. Okay, so without thinking I jumped the gun and started to do the unthinkable. I made disparaging remarks about this certain politician, and as fate would have it, the whole damn place lit up like Christmas eve.
I thought, goddamn, what the fuck have I done! This is worse than being surrounded by a throng of angry Palestinians in the middle of the West Bank, as I struggle to find my gun. But then I thought for a split second, let it flow through you. Live in the moment. Seize it and love it for what it is there to teach me. Yes, I actually humbled myself. I mean, for God’s sakes, here I was surrounded by an angry throng of various and sundry followers of Uppity, which before this incident I had no idea existed.
Oh wait. I think maybe there was a clue. It was around two months ago when I first got going over there. I thought, what the hell. We’ll see where this goes. Boy did it ever go. It went so far that it ended abruptly. But you know what, I began to do some truth telling for the first time in my life, and it’s about time I did that. I told her and everybody else over there that I feel like I really have nowhere else to go. I wanted to reach out and share my point of view about things. I mean, is that so bad?
I mean what is it coming to? Are certain websites off limits to certain people? Will I get banned from CNN if I call Ted Turner a modern day plantation massa? Will the lords of MSNBC threaten me with a lawsuit if I dare mention that maybe, juuuuuust maybe, they are part of a vast wingless conspiracy? In other words, the media are all a bunch of pussies. Hey, Uppity told me I could use that word, so back off, will ya.
To be perfectly honest with everyone, I am as dumb as a fucking fencepost. I haven’t really had it so good in life. But I keep on trying, by God. It’s pretty much curtains for me. All I have left are memories and a bunch of dead friends. I don’t want to become an alcoholic or drug addict. I keep pretty fit by working out regularly – doctor’s orders. It’s all part of my 10-step program to a guilt free existence. Live dumb and prosper, that’s my deal.
I just want to forget about all the pain and agony. I abhor politics, especially politics today. It’s so melodramatic and painfully self-centered that every time I hear about that crap I immediately think about Googling some place else to go live. Maybe Central America or the Middle East. Any war torn region in the middle of this cesspool of 24/7/365 nail-biting bullshit will do. I figure, what the hell. What have I got to lose. It’s like, well, if I live in the middle of the storm, then chances are all the turbulence will be outside the proverbial cone of silence.
But it all passes, as Miz Uppity gingerly reminded me. Yes, I refer to her as Miz. Call me a pig. I don’t care. I like the way it sounds. I reserve that for special women in my life. I love them all because women are the only ones who have the balls to call a spade a spade these days. I was just thinking about how much courage it is for proudmilitarymom, for example, to speak her mind about the current state of affairs in this here country of ours. After all, her kids who are serving in the military really should not have to hear about illegal aliens’ rights when they are supposed to only be fighting for the legal aliens’ rights – you know, all the rest of us.
Sometimes you have to admit that we are all living on some alien planet. Somewhere, somehow Barney Frank must have been channeling Dorothy when he bitched about the senior rate over the weekend. God, don’t these old queens have anything to bitch about any more? Wasn’t Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac enough? Is this what it’s come down to? A knock down, drag out, no holds barred political wrestling extravaganza every day? Aren’t there other things more problematic to deal with, like al Qaeda and not Al Gore? Like Hezbollah and not who’s balling whom? I mean, for God’s sakes people, what in the hell have we become? Why are we acting like nothing’s wrong, while simultaneously doing EVERYTHING wrong? Can I get a hallelujah and a what’s up with that?
Jesus fucking Christ, I’m glad Uppity and I had words. I am too ashamed to go back anyway. I went there this morning and saw Michelle Antoinette’s Spanish getaway villa and thought to myself that I just need to get the fuck away from that. Some things just hurt your eyes to look at. Instead I was lucky enough to go and find this speech by Lt. Col. Allen West, who by the way, I wish would run for President. Just skip the whole Representative, Senator bullshit and go straight to Pennsylvania Avenue. Pass Go, collect $200, and for God’s sakes do not take the railroad. Roosevelt and Truman are dead already. Let those poor men rest in peace for goodness sakes.
It’s just that frankly at this point it’s perfectly futile and utterly hilarious to watch as nobody is getting it right altogether in unison. Everybody is connected, and nobody is talking. Wonderful. Wow. Such an achievement. People are angrier than ever before. And what was that about a tower called Babel? Hmm, makes you wonder, dudn’t it.
I enjoy babbling as you can clearly see. I like to think of the worst possible scenario so as to scare the bejesus out of everyone so that nothing bad will ever happen. Honestly, I want as many people to be safe and secure as is humanly possible. What I don’t want or need is a bunch of crybabies on my hand, who never seem to get enough attention and always seem to not be able to deal with anything. And so, in the inimitable words of the great Miz Uppity, I would like to say to everyone Deal With It.
Just fucking deal with the fact that you have elected the worst possible politicians at the worst possible time. Deal with the fact that there are people in this world who will always hate your guts no matter what you say to them or do for them. Deal with the fact that not everybody has courage, which means that most people who mosey around in their country club bubble – you know who they are – Range Rovers and X5′s are a dead giveaway – they just don’t know what they’re missing. And deal with the fact that people who like to fight are people who take enormous risks to do so. They’re not crazy. They look for trouble because they aspire to go to it and deal with it there rather than have something bad happen to anyone they know. How about them apples. Now deal with it.
Yep, I am a new man. I have succeeded where other men have simply attempted to try. I have had my legs cut out from underneath me, and I thanked the kind lady. I wanted her to know that I am completely uninterested in politics. I think it’s just become a farce. It’s like we’re all supposed to be telling them what to do. I mean, isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Why should I waste my time doing their job for them? The most telling thing about this epoch of human self-deception is perhaps that were all sitting around trying to tell the government what the hell to do. And we’re doing it at a time when they want more and more of our money – so that we can continue to tell them what to do.
Gosh, what a racket! Where do I sign up? This is ridiculous actually. I consider myself to be more of a writer and observer of people rather than some political junkie. I really never thought much of politicians, except for one time when I depended upon their decisions for my life. Then it really meant something. Today, it’s about politicians “reaching out” to us like we’re helpless little children in need of their attention. What a total bunch of pandering malarkey. I feel completely violated, used, and bemused at the same time by all of this. It is actually so laughable, but yet it is so painfully honest as well.
And so I’ve decided that if I’m going to be treated like a crybaby about all of this then here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to cease and desist immediately from discussing anything to do with national security, the economy, politics, and all that crap. I’m going to just tune this stuff out and ignore it. I mean, essentially that’s what my partner and I have already done. TPN is just a place where we transcribe our daily rants. The other sites are about home energy production, streaming headlines from the various media, a site on everyday life in Israel, and so on and so forth. It’s really lame, boring stuff to be honest.
But invariably one has to let off some steam, and here it is. This is the deal. It’s getting me into a lot of trouble, too. I’m really hanging my you-know-whats out there – something I really am a bit concerned about. But not really. I think it’s liberating to hang your dirty laundry out for people to see. It’s downright therapeutic. At least nobody is out there talking about the latest temperatures from the Arctic any more. Whew. I was wondering when that was going to finally end. At least people now have something bigger to worry about, the economy – more specifically, how in the hell we’re going to make it until tomorrow and pay the rent at the end of the month and that credit card bill coming due. Stuff like that.
And in the end, maybe somewhere years later people will look back at all these ramblings about problems that hopefully will not exist then. And perhaps time will heal all of this and nobody will even care any more. And years from now, we will be hobbling around still going on and on about Arizona and the Gulf of Mexico. And passersby will try to avoid us and think we’re crazy. Nobody will probably even remember any of this stuff.
That’s the way things go, my man. One day you’re the center of attention, and the next day nobody cares. It’s the ones who try to stay in the spotlight and convince the rest of us to do the same is what bothers me the most. I don’t want attention insomuch as I want to understand people better. Unfortunately, nobody has come up with a way for people to know others without drawing attention to themselves. Some boldly say they are clairvoyant and such. I don’t believe them. Nobody has special powers, yet in the same sense, just being human is special enough. It has to be. That’s all there is.
So stop your crying, all of you. Let the chips fall where they may. Don’t be afraid. And remember to thank God almighty every single day for the life you have. Let’s face it, when push comes to shove, that’s all we’ve got. And so deal with it!
-TPN
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